Simply Be You

No matter how much you accomplish, you still feel a huge void. Spending your whole life so busy and focused on this standard you were taught early on. Expectations were put on all of us since early childhood from parents, family, teachers, tv and now social media. If we dare to step outside of this path set before us, we’re deemed different, weird, even unruly or impossible. What if I told you, everyone wants to step out but are afraid just like You? Quit allowing fear to keep you shackled, step into what was meant for you by Simply Being You in just a few steps.

Void filled and happiness is easy. You don’t need to spend money and endless time figuring out what’s wrong with you. You’re not the problem, a lot of what you were made to believe is. I will help you understand some of the reasons you feel the way you do and help you Simply Be You in under 1600 words. Reclaim your life & feel happy and whole.

For me, I’ve always felt different, like I didn’t belong and empty. It made me think there was something wrong with me.

In turn, I let people mistreat me and didn’t dream big because I felt unworthy.

Rachel E. Smith

We’re all stepping through our own journey. Some with devastating stories while others may feel life has been pretty good besides the dull void.

It took me decades of failures, feeling insecure and hitting rock bottom to fully grasp what reality should be. I take you into the dark depths of my own journey in my upcoming Teachable Memoir. It took me a long time to get to the point I am now. Following the few steps below catapulted my life into a happy, fulfilled one of endless possibilities.

For generations the “way of the world” mentality has been adopted but who decided what this way should be for All of us? I first began to think about this when I read Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements. God created us all unique for a specific purpose, but our parents were indoctrinated with the same belief that they had to be this certain way and so indoctrinated us from a young age and we have done the same.

There’s a fine line between indoctrination and raising your child with boundaries guiding them without smothering out their authenticity. If you were allowed this freedom, it wouldn’t align with the expectations of this world, but in the Bible, John 17:6-19 talks about us living in the world but not of it. Often we will be hated by others for not living a worldly expectation but we must stay strong and aligned with God’s plan.

We try to fill the ever widening void with exercise, partying, drinking, volunteering, career-focused, family-focused, religion and more but the void remains. Even our good deeds we do for fulfillment will not help our feelings of emptiness. You cannot successfully bake a cake from scratch without the main ingredient, flour. Try & add every other “important” ingredients & it will still not turnout well without the “key” ingredient, God.

My Book Club is currently reading, Untamed by Glennon Doyle who gets this. I don’t agree with everything she says but do believe she explains it well and understands how we’ve been brainwashed into accepting a way of life that isn’t our own. She could not shake some of her ways she was dealing with this void and absence of true love until she reached deep down into herself. What she truly found was God and now she can be at peace with her decisions and handle the trials life promises to bring.

So, how do you leave the masquerade behind and start living authentically? It’s simple but since we’ve been led astray for so long, it will take practice and determination. I will be with you every step of the way to help provide encouragement, prayer, resources and helpful steps throughout your journey.

Get Closer to God
This is absolutely the most important step. God made us and he made us for His purpose. So, how do you think you’ll ever understand what you’re here for if he’s a stranger to you? Listening to humans has shown to provide a surface contentment that fades quickly. Get to know God and get to know your purpose and feel His love. The only love that will do right by you ALL the time. I’ve been a Christian since I was 12 but I did not know God until I was around 39 and the years get sweeter the closer I get to Him.

Pray

• When you get up
• Before you drift off to sleep
• When you need guidance
• When your feelings are overtaking you

Talk

• Beyond praying, talk to God throughout the day
• Include Him in every part of your daily life

Read your Bible

• I can’t stress this enough. For years I only read devotionals
• Devotionals are great, just don’t let it replace your Bible reading time
  God will speak to us through His word but only if we read it

Relax/Meditate/Pray

• To truly hear God through prayer, reading, talking to Him, you must be still & know Him focusing in with a true open ear

Discernment

• This doesn’t come right away from what I’ve experienced
• We must take God below the surface to receive the Holy Spirit and His guidance/discernment
• Quit making decisions on your own, be led by the One who created your purpose
• You won’t always be led the way you want or think you should & may even seem like you’re being led into the fire….it’s important to trust & know God and remember, Jesus walked through the fiery furnace with them

Shedding Your Burdens
I think it’s good to start with taking a real look at your life and determining what is sucking the life out of you? Just focus on a few, you can add to the list later if needed. Here are some examples of what I shed to help lighten the load and do away with items that only burdened me.

• People
• Those that don’t really care about you & bring any type of consistent negativity/bad emotions to your life
• Those not growing
• Ones that gossip or put others down
• Those that are cocky

Wasted time

• Too much screen time
• Allowing things to affect your mood & stunt your move
• Spending it on unimportant things/people

Stuff

• Declutter the items around you
• Make your home simple and comfortable

Inserting Positivity
As much as it’s good to release the negative, so it is to add the positive. Positives help input what adds value to you and your life. Do some soul searching and really determine what direction your life is currently going and what helps you get there. Here are some ways I add positivity or value to my life.

• More quality time spent with loved ones
• Reading
• A clean house
• Attending church
• Volunteering
• A plan
• Doing something active every day
• Quiet time spent with God
• Coffee

Gratitude – even when we don’t feel like it
You’re not promised an easy life but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy and fulfilled. With the right mindset, you actually gain a multitude by facing your hurdles armed with prayer, your Bible and the Holy Spirit. God will not only see you through but trusting in His plan and timing in your life allows you to go through storms with gratitude. Being intentional everyday about having a grateful heart is one of the healthiest things you can do without having to get your heart rate up. Try it out. You’ll be surprised how much you have to be grateful for and the elevated feeling daily when acknowledging it. Here are a few things I’m grateful for right now. Can you come up with 3?

• A warm house to do all the things in
• A running car
• Food on the table daily
• God’s love for me
• My mobility

A Routine
There’s nothing wrong with being a “free spirit” like me. It’s just sometimes us free spirited people can’t quite ground ourselves long enough to accomplish feeling God’s presence, the comfort of a stable job or deal with our inner-demons to be truly free. I love the free spirit in me, I just have to keep it tamed to a reasonable level. Balance in everything is key. I’ve learned to discipline myself for those times I need to be and then let myself go for less stringent things. Let God lead you on how to set up your day to balance His purpose and your needs. All our routines will be different but get in His presence and follow His guide for your day to day. Here’s a snapshot of my typical day, knowing I may need to tweak it a bit sometimes.

• 5AM Wakeup
• Coffee
• Bible reading/Devotional/Prayer
• Work on Writing goal
• Get kids to school
• Shower
• FT job duties
• Dinner
• Family time
• Read Book Club Book
• 11PM Sleep

This simple guide helped me Be Me through God’s love and guidance. I would love to hear how it has helped you. Remember, if you fall off, recognize it and jump back on without criticizing yourself. We are human, God knows it and that’s why he shows us so much grace. If God can show us grace, let’s practice showing ourselves and others grace to be more like Him.